Ups and Downs

It's been awhile since my last posting and there are a few reasons for that. First, it's fairly important to make sure you aren't in a lack-of-sleep induced stupor when publishing something on the internet for all the world to see (case in point - Thomas has now started pointing out my grammar/spelling mistakes on my blog - a complete role reversal). Second, until last night and today, my days (and nights) have consisted of diapers, formula, laundry and napping (and watching lots of TV on the couch with Frank in the downtime...Nate Berkus at 12 - can't stand him, Days of Our Lives at 1pm - it hasn't changed in 20 years, and Ellen - love her - at 2). Third, the single most exciting event (again, until last night/today) was the celebration that little man's umbilical cord had fallen off and we could finally give him a real bath (bad, bad parents - it fell off on Tuesday and he continued to be "spot-cleaned" until tonight - blame it on sleep deprivation, again).

Bunco was last night, so I got in some good girl time (much needed), but why was today such a big day? After waking up at 7:55am and getting dressed in 5 minutes flat (I told you I could do it, Frank), it was off to the OB to get my two week blessing. Big Event #1 - Little Dude was born 17 days ago - I've lost 33 lbs since then (jeez...why can't it always be that easy?!?). Big Events #2 and #3 - Blood pressure has returned to normal after causing some concern in the hospital and my incision has been blessed by the doctor as "damn near unnoticeable" (I'm paraphrasing...slightly). I can drive again, but no lifting, exercise, baths (very sad), or any other "activities" (sorry, Thomas) until further discussion at the next appointment in 4 weeks. Post-doctor, it was off to Frank's house for a diaper change, feeding, and then running around for errands. This may seem like a small thing to most people, but for the past two weeks, I've seen the walls of my house (with one small excursion to the pediatrician thrown in). It felt good to get out and see the world. Other big events? A stop at Sam's, Space Center Houston (for some last minute space-related essentials for a special not-so-little-anymore dude coming to my house tomorrow), Dickinson BBQ, and Target (truly a big event...it has been WEEKS since I stepped foot in Target).

I wouldn't be true to the intention of this blog (remember, full disclosure, warts and all) if I didn't say that I've been hit with a bit of the "baby blues" the past few days. It's not horrible, and it's completely normal, but try convincing your husband you aren't crazy when you are in bed cuddling your little baby and five seconds later you are crying your eyes out and can do nothing to stop it (and nothing started it). Getting out and about definitely helps, but I'm pretty sure sleep deprivation plays a large role. Your hormones are out of whack and you are supposed to function on the same amount of sleep (or less) the Navy Seal wannabees get during Hell Week? Tom Cruise can bite my butt if he thinks any of this is "in my head". It's real, but fortunately, not debilitating. I feel for the women that get it hard, and am thankful that medication exists that can help lift people out of the funk (again, bite me Tom Cruise...I remember when you were mean to Brooke Shields). Yesterday was a good day (0 tears) and today has been pretty good, too (just a few tears, and some more now as I write this...but, again, I promised to be open). Fortunately, I have a great support system, and got really great advice from some FWBs (Friends With Babies) that it's normal, natural, and they all went through it, too. It actually doesn't bother me too much - most of the time, it's fleeting and I'm happy just as fast as I was sad - but it is hard when a crying spell hits when I'm holding the little man. I don't want him to look at me and see an unhappy person (enter guilt which usually equals more tears)...especially when I couldn't be more thrilled to snuggle up with him. This, along with the sleep deprivation, will soon pass and I'll be back to my (new) normal self. Fortunately, neither the blues nor lack of sleep seems to run much interference on sarcasm (i.e. my sense of humor). No need to send out the cavalry, friends and family, I promise, I'm okay...just writing about it is therapy enough...no need for any Hallmark moments. If I need to talk to someone, I promise, I will. FWBBs (Friends With Belly Babies), I'm passing on the advice that the FWBs gave me - it's fine, it's normal, and I'm here if you need me once you lose the belly.

Since I apparently get to have my pregnancy (well, post-pregnancy) moment of crazy (and well deserved, I might add) after all, I think I'll chalk this week up in the positive column...assuming I can get at least three uninterrupted hours of sleep at some point tonight.